Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
