wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
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