the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
