Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
