We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
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