Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Randomize
