I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
Even my vagina gasped.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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