Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
