I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
