Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
God gave him joint rollers for hands
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
Randomize