I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
Randomize