im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
Randomize
