Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
Randomize
