So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
