Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
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nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
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Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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