He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
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