I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
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