I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
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