sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
Less talking, more tequila
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Randomize
