I only kidnapped one of them. chill
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
Randomize
