Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
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