I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
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