You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
Randomize
