how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
Randomize
