But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
Randomize
