Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
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