Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
then my best friend's brother, boyfriend, and future bro in law showed up at the bar. they asked who i was there with. didn't know if "a 40 year old man" or "my 5th grade teacher" was better answer.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
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