We're facebook friends in real life
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
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