I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize
