It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
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