did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Randomize
