You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
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