she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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