i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
Randomize
