walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
