I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
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