All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
