So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Randomize
