she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
Randomize
