Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
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