the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
Randomize
