Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
Randomize
