please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
Randomize
