i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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