Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Randomize
