dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
Randomize
