so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
operation have a gay friend backfired
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
Randomize
