She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Randomize
