she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
Can you repeat that, but with context?
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
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