Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
Randomize
