Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
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