If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
