Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
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