Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
