What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
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