A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
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