tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
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