found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Randomize
