He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
Randomize
