Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize
