Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
Randomize
